Virgo Woman

THIS, AS anyone will tell you, is the sign of the maiden, and that’s certainly what the Virgo lass is. The main thing about this Mercurial maiden of astrological mythology is that she’s a virgin, and every Virgo girl in the land, from Galway to Grimsby, will have been teased about this at some point or other. The funny thing is though, even if she’s had so many amorous affrays and delightful dalliances that she makes Don Juan look like a beginner, she’ll still be a mite mystified by her attitude to amour. It’s not that she doesn’t like sex it’s just that she’s not very keen on it. You can find out exactly how much she can stand by peeking at her natal chart. Mars in Leo, for example, will enliven the proceedings no end, and inject a little lasciviousness into her, while Venus in Libra will make her more openly affectionate and gregarious. But even if it’s just in her heart of hearts, the Virgo lass will find the sexual side of life something she could well do without. She will also find it difficult to let herself go in bed, because she tries to be in control at all times. So, this vestal virgin has got to learn to unleash her powers of passion; make no mistake, they’re seething away under the surface.

There’s a fantastically fresh feel to these lasses, and to look at them. you’d think they’d never behave like other humans at all never get all hot and bothered, and certainly never disappear off to the loo like other folk.

Many Virgo girls like to look as nature intended. (No, I don’t mean they nip about naked!) Greta Garbo was a Virgo, and look how natural she was! These lasses wear hardly any make-up, and what they do wear will be connected with the countryside, concocted from coriander and celery seeds, or something similar. Their Virgoan vestments will also be simple, made from natural yarns yanked from the hedgerows and converted into cloth, then printed with posies. (Virgo girls could keep Laura Ashley going single-handed!)

When it comes to motherhood, these maidens make marvellous mums, once they forget trying to teach their babies Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. (Or that Noddy’s relationship with Big Ears had a very deep psychological meaning.) It’s incredibly important for these Mercurial mums to have clever kiddies, but they’ve got to realise that their children need love as well as learning. Every Virgo mum should toss away the reading book once in a while and give her kid a cuddle instead.

She’ll be ceaselessly searching for signs of brilliance in her babies and may even think they’re ill in an intelligent way! But because ‘Service’ is her middle name, she’ll do everything she can for her kids, and nurse them from dawn to dusk when they’re sick.

Remember that Virgo is an undemonstrative sign, so don’t expect a Mercurial maiden to gush like a Water sign, or be as lusciously loving as a Leo or Libran lass. Instead, her eyes will be scanning you all the time, trying to fathom you out and wondering what makes you tick. (Countless Virgos say ‘Penny for your thoughts’ whenever you indulge in a delectable daydream. Taureans would say ‘Pound’, and Capricorns would offer you a mortgage!) Virgos are always analysing, comparing and contrasting, like human sorting machines, and will try to pin you down to a particular pattern.

Like Mercurial males, Virgo girls really come into their own at work. They make perfect PAs (that’s personal assistants, dear, not public address systems they’re full of diligence, not decibels), and their bosses really depend on them. But they’re great feminists and don’t take kindly to having their bottoms pinched every time they bend over. They want to be accepted in their own right as intelligent human beings, and not just as sex objects on legs, tapping away at a typewriter.

The Virgo lass can be the Tipp-Ex queen of the zodiac, and I don’t just mean in the office. Some Virgo women have awful areas of their lives they’d like to eradicate: they’d be on cloud nine if they could only blank out the blots on their own particular landscapes, as well as those on their letters. (Be careful If you don’t behave properly to a Mercurial maiden, it could be you who’s wiped out by a white-out!)